Me: You sleep well, love.
Mr. J: You too, get plenty of rest.
Mr. J: Actually do it, get rest.
Me: (silence…I was actually thinking about fixing a plot point and not really paying attention.)
Mr. J: Actually do it. And don’t use your rebellious voice.
Me: (laughs) I don’t have a rebellious voice.
Mr. J: You have three.
Me: (laughs) Really?
Mr. J: Yep.
Me: Tell me about ’em.
Mr. J: No.
So back in August 2014 I met my best friend. February 13, 2015 (Friday the 13th and the day before Valentine’s Day) we got married.
Shortly after my divorce and before I met Mr. J I made this list. I decided that if I was going to ever try to date again I needed to learn from my mistakes and do all the things better. And I wanted to find the exact opposite of my ex.
Funny thing: somehow we both forgot to ask each other what our political affiliations were until after we got married. Boy was that a surprise. I was all like: how did we go this long without having one political discussion? But it’s okay. Even though we disagree about some things, we still love each other, accept each other, and work together to make both of our lives better. That’s how respect works.
Henna for the civil ceremony.
It was a lovely, crisp, clear night when we got married.
In the morning it looked like this:
It’s was an awesome day! Today is awesome too! Here’s to this life and the next! Together forever! I love you Mr. J!
Mr. J: (cat sitting on his lap) Could you unplug that cord?
Me: (walks over) This cord?
Mr. J: Yep, just unplug it and plug it back in.
Me: Whatcha gonna give me for it?
Mr. J: Food?
Me: (dramatic pause) Okay.
Me: (gets into bed, burrows under blankets) Hey! It’s your turn to take care of the humidifier. And the bathroom light is on.
Mr. J: (noise of mild distress)
Me: Oh come on!
Mr. J: I guess we’re sleeping with the light on.
Me: No! Come on!
Mr. J: I can’t move.
Mr. J: (another noise of mild distress)
Me: Fine! (unburrows self and fills humidifier)
Mr. J: You’re like the Lord Commander of the Humidity Watch.
Me: (turns off light. returns to bed, trips over Mr. J’s phone charger)
For some reason we were talking about directions first thing in the morning, literal directions and written instructions.
Me: wow thanks for making sure the left and right side of my brain are working.
Mr. J.: Yes because that’s how you know to take a left instead of two rights.
Me: Two rights EQUAL a left so fuck off!
Mr. J.: No they don’t…(dramatic pause)…It’s three rights make a left.
Me: fuck off
Mr. J: wow you really learned a lot from those gen ed classes in college.